I don’t trust police
![](https://www.spectator.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/robert_thompson_270424_1_sg.jpg?w=440)
‘I like an older woman – you could get me fags’
‘I’m sleeping rough as much as I can before they criminalise it.’
‘I think we need to look at the bigger picture.’
‘Stop being so toxic.’
‘Oh no – I got hideously drunk and posted something moderate and inoffensive!’
‘Hi honeytrap – I’m home.’
‘It’s mankind’s worst fear – a Liz Truss book launch!’
‘He’s refusing to eat his spinach. He has a point though – it may contain forever chemicals.’
‘What if his first word is a hate crime?’
‘I’m going to treat myself to Garrick membership’
‘I never thought I’d catch a glimpse of an actual royal residence.’
‘Hi, it’s Cinderella – can you put me through to pest control.’
‘We should have selected candidates who’d be more resistant to honey traps.’